Pardoned myself

Pardoned myself

Enikő has a lot youtube lectures and meditations, among these my favorite is the Consciousness. (My second favorite is: the Release of sexual blocks.)

If I do not have any special topic, but I know I need to do self-awareness, to get out of my shadow characteristics, and transfer them to new creative power I always listen to this lecture. Thanks to the releases I faced many of my shadow personalities unconsciously also. In this case I just let the sound-recording to go and I let myself to be driven by my Higher-Self and show me pictures and feel the real feelings opened in my Wild-Self.
On higher vibration level the intuition tells me – even if I do not have special topic – what those shadow characteristics I need to work with by my Higher-Self on that moment.

“Mercy” – I needed almost one year to feel what this word really means what the energy of it and what is behind of it.

One year ago Boglárka asked me: “Do you mercy yourself sometimes?”

“Meeee? I even don’t know what it is” – I replied.

Have mercy on you sometimes – asked me but I didn’t understand what she was talking about it.

Thinking back to the years behind me I really haven’t known what mercy meant. My mind always was very busy. If I wasn’t thinking about something I scarified my body in different way: professional level of sport (result of it: arthritis, steady tiredness), diet (with zero result) and also I was maximalist to fulfill other’s requirements. I needed to be busy all the time no matter what I did I just did something. If there wasn’t anything to do, nothing to think my life was stopped and I was bored – I couldn’t find my place. I don’t know what the reason of it was or even it was good for something but that was how I lived.

One day in the morning I listened the meditation “Consciousness” and my Higher-Self worked on the real meaning of MERCY.

I saw myself as slave hunter acted crazy: I found the runaway slaves and after cruel torture I burned black men at the stake to show my power. I enjoyed their suffering and their death. The root cause of this horror was a man: I was very young lady when I felt in love but my lover left me , so in my sorrow I followed the pattern of my father and started to hunt slaves. I was brutal with them to reduce my heart-pain. I was satisfied and happy when I saw how they suffer. (Now I can see this happened in my current life as well: after love failure I followed my father’s profession. But this time I realized and I changed  afterwards. To be honest it wasn’t conscious decision.)

On deep conscious level by raising my vibration level I stepped back to my previous life and there I connected my young self with the golden string of unconditional love and with redeemed energy of Earth, the magenta. I did the same with the man who left me in that life. I didn’t look at the real root cause of our break, I just let the energy of unconditional love go around us.
Our story ended the same: he left but on the three aspect of universal love: I could forgive him, I could let him go and I could accept his decision. As I didn’t dig myself at the bottom of the root cause I felt sorrow in my heart, but it wasn’t mortal, destructive, vindictive pain. After couple of years when my lovesickness had gone, I met my later husband. We had a very nice life. Though slaves were around us, there wasn’t any cruelty with them!
What I got as life essential from my previous life, it was the enormous power of tenderness in unconditional love what I felt finally!!
I could mercy myself and others from this warm but huge power.

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